At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.
So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.
She refused to fix my grade.
In the end, she shit herself on stage.
I didn’t regret it.
This is Foo-Chan, the Japanese equivalent of Grumpy Cat. But instead of being grumpy, he just looks like he’s disappointed all of the time.
"why must we go through this every day, sheryl"
I think this is the most romantic thing to ever happen to me
Those people who constantly reblog your stuff but you never really talk:
at the risk of this going horribly im going to do this
because i’ll regret it
This isn’t going to end well
Here comes trouble
yes this will go badly but you have to admit it will probably be funny.
me: does something
Notice only 20 shades of gray
It’s been proven that women actually have an acute ability to pick up subtle differences in colors
Then I might be a man because I only see like eight colors in all that mess…
thats probably also because like 1/12 men have some sort of color vision deficiency while only 1/255 women do so